Why I Can't Love You
by OfTheFormer
Summary: Set during Viva La Bam. Camden, Bam Margera's best friend since grade school. All ways the 'friend' and never the 'girlfriend' but what happens when a chance encounter changes how she feels for Bam. will she want to be more than just the 'friend' to him?
1. Castel Bam

Today I woke up to a blow horn in my ear. What you would call a 'rude awakening.' A normal girl would probably be mad and most likely murder the man who woke her via blow horn, but I guess it's something you get used to very quickly when you are a resident of 'Castle Bam.'

Rolling over on my side, I groaned a mumble of a sentence which sounded like "what is your problem?" but you can never be sure. "Come on Cam, time to get up. We're going on a boat ride!" a voice I could only make out to be one person, that person would be known as Bam Margera. Bam Margera, a name I know rather well. Bam and I have been best friends since grade school, so I should hope his name would be familiar. Don't worry we were never lovers or infatuated with each other, just plain old BFF's;

Great…

"Bam!" I squealed in fright, "a boat ride?!?!" it was too early in the morning to be told this, I have a blunt fear of water and he knows that. When I was 10 I went on a surf trip with Bam and my family to the sunny shores of California; while surfing I slipped and fell into the water. At first I expected to float back to the surface with my board but when I didn't float I started to kick i hopes i would reach the surface; it only made me sink more. By that time I was loosing air and I wasn't sure if anyone had seen me. But before I knew it I saw him diving towards me. My 'Dark Knight' had rescued me, at least that's what every one says when they tease me about it. But I was in shock for the next few days. It got so bad one day I had to be hospitalized and diagnosed. Nothing to serious, but I still don't like being near water.

"Come on babe, it will be fun." Bam cooed pulling the covers off of me and the bed sending a cold chill up my spine. "No, it won't." I huffed curling into a ball blocking him out. Sighing in defeat Bam slumped out the door. He was hoping I would be all for a boat ride because he was planning on abandoning Phil, April, and hopefully Don Vito on 3 Mile Island. But he didn't think about my aqua-phobia, and the effects it could have on my mind.

"Baammm," I wined threw my pillow the longing clear in my voice.

Your probably wondering why I'm in 'Castel Bam' in the first place, well it all started with a chair… but story cut short: I was evicted from my home in the city. And Brandon was nice enough (being the good FRIEND that he is) let me crash at his place for a while until I get back on my feet. My first notion was to go live with my parents for a while, but they're currently in California living off of my brother's income. He's a singer, him and his band "The Nobody's" spelled as in the possession of something. There new but there hitting it off pretty well.

I didn't realize how cold the room was, Bam had thrown my blankets on the floor and I had on only a big flannel T-shirt and underclothes. _I really don't wanna get up,_ I thought hugging my knees for warmth. I was thinking about giving in and getting up to go see what the boys where up to but suddenly there was a low rumble as if someone was running up the stairs at top speed. At first I thought it might be Bam, but when the figure appeared in the doorway and jumped on top of me sending me sprawling into the floor, I knew it was not Bam, but Raab.

"Raab!!" I screamed hitting the heavy body that was pinning me to the floor. "Camden!!" he yelled back. "Get off of me!!" I giggled but he just nuzzled his face into the crack of my breast.

"Really?" I muttered stroking Raabs back in defeat; this was so typical of him. He always liked teasing me when we were little. "Good morning sunshine, you looking ravishing." He laughed lifting his head to look at me. I smiled and kissed his forehead "aww thanks Raab," I muttered pushing him roughly off of me sending him sprawling onto the floor

"Oh, I was just kidding," he paused and waited for my response, something I've learned boys do, to enjoy the full satisfaction of there '_diss_'.

"Of course you were,"

I stood up from off the floor and stretched, thinking of my _To Do List_: one, convince Bam into letting me stay home and not get on the boat. That's the only thing on the list so far… I could here Chris chuckling a little on the floor beneath me. _What on earth…?_ I looked down in curiosity to see what he was laughing at, only to find that he was looking right back up. I had forgotten I wasn't wearing any pants.

"GET OUT!" I screamed kicking him in the head. Lucky for him he rushed out of the room before I could beat him up some more. "And stay out." I muttered slamming the door so I could get ready for the day with out any interruptions.

I know it's a little late for introductions, but I am Camden Rilla.


	2. How Cliché

Walking down the stairs I couldn't help but notice the loud crash noises coming from the kitchen. When I got to the kitchen door I opened it to find the boys scrambling to throw as much food into a duffel bag as possible

"What the hell do you think your doing?!" I yelled from the door way. "Were packing food for Phil and April!" Glomp said excitedly shoving a cake into the bag.

"What for?" I asked not sure if I really wanted to know the answer. "Because," Bam said turning to me, "we're going to leave them on and island next to 3-mile-island." He said with a big grin, "for 24 hours,"

"You're what?!?!?!" I yelled clasping both sides of his face and shaking his head until he pushed my hands off. "Bam you cant do that!!"

"Oh yeah, Why not?" he mused. As if knowing I had nothing good to say everyone stopped and waiting for my answer. "Well… cuz… it wrong?" all the guys booed and went back to food cramming. I had nothing to back up my theory. But I was still apposed to the idea.

_The Boat…_

Raab had lent me his sleeping-blindfold-thing so I couldn't see that we were on the water. Every one seemed to be enjoying them selves actually; even I was enjoying myself a little—as crazy as it may sound. But I was still getting a bit unnerved by the sounds of the boat so I plugged in my iPod snuggled up to Dico and silently rocked out to the _Clutch. _

I think I might of fallen asleep because next thing I know I'm being woken up to a big bucket of water pouring down on my head. "Really?" I wined sitting up and seeing that I was not in the boat anymore but on an island in the middle of the river.

"Where the hell are we?" I asked—the water long forgotten. It was clear we were not in West Chester anymore.

"Were stranded on an island," Bam told me dumping the rest of the bucket. "Stop that!" I yelled taking the bucket and throwing it into the woods. "I thought the point was to stranded Phil and Ape." thinking back to this morning I remember some of what Bam had said about that we where stranding don Vito, Phil and April. Not the other way around—because I didn't see them or the boat any where around the island, that I suddenly noticed was surrounded by water.

_**...water?**_

"They abandoned us—Cam are you okay?" Bam asked with a slight hint of actual worry in his voice, that might have been because I looked so pathetic standing there dripping wet…. Oh right—that would be pity he's feeling. I smiled and nodded my head reassuring him I was fine; however, by slumping to the floor and my increasingly raged breath proved to him that I wasn't. "Is it the water?" he asked slumping down to the floor with me.

"What was your first clue?" I snapped dropping my head into my hands to ease the pounding fear. "I'll be alright in a minuet," I told him, with a wave of my hand, "Go, your fans and friends our waiting."

He didn't look convinced, however, with one parting pat on my head he stood up and went to his friends who where all hovering over the same duffel bag they filled this morning. One of the camera men where still pointing the camera at me—I didn't realize until just then I had been watching Bam walk away—the man was smirking. "What are you smiling at?" I snapped, I've gotten used to the cameras constantly catching me do embarrassing things. "Because you like him," he said cheekily, as if he's seen it a million times.

"He's my best friend, yeah right." I said in my defense. "Haha well the cameras don't lie sweetheart," he pushed.

"Yeah well neither dose my fist, _darling._"

He shrugged and followed Bam leaving me alone and wet. I decided to go to the other side of the island and dry my clothes, I'll interrogate Bam later about how exactly I got into this mess and why no one just left me in the boat—because that little detail bothered me a bit. I figured it out; I would go far enough back into the woods and find a clearing so none of the boys can sneak a peek. Being with all these boys get a bit over whelming—sometimes a girl needs some time to her self, especially if she's soaking wet. Sneaking around the boys, I stole a somewhat clean towel from an abandoned duffel bag and walked in an _away_ direction. Whichever _way_ I went, I walked long enough and ended up at a clearing near the edge of the island. Satisfied with the location I began stripping off my damp clothes until I was down to nothing but my underwear—I wasn't going to go that far. Using the towel to dry off my body, and avoiding letting the unidentifiable stains to touch my skin, I proceeded to lay out my clothes over a bush in the sun so they would circulate and dry.

Hopefully it won't take too long to dry because I was getting cold with out clothes and my skimpy neon colored undies just weren't cutting it. I sat down along the bank and stared at the water, it was floating by peacefully, but my head was not in peace. Unknowingly I was gripping my hands tightly in a fist; I hated that I was scared of the water… I can barley get in the pool with out feeling light headed.

It bothers me to know as well that I'm holding everyone else back when we do water induced activities. I groaned in frustration as the wind kicked up a little, hugging myself tighter, I looked away from the water and tried not to think about it. But the only thing that popped in my head was what that camera crew man said.

I didn't realize how much that comment was bothering me, only because I fear he may be right.

_Meanwhile, back at camp _

I left Camden sitting on the ground, soaking wet, and in a state of panic. That was probably not one of my smartest decisions, but she looked a bit as if she wanted to be left alone—so I did, but should I have? I had no clue. This wasn't the time for me to be thinking about this, she can take care of herself and I've got work to do.

I'm getting myself a ramp in the middle of this island and not even Don Vito can ruin this.

"Hey Bam," Glomp, my personal handy man called from somewhere threw the trees, "Yo," I called back. "Do you wanna see?" he asked.

He had finished the ramp. "Yeah man! Ill be right there." I looked back at Camden to find her talking to the camera man with an agitated look on her face. Ill have to ask her what that was about later, or ill just find out when I edit the show.

Hiking over to where Glomp stood I saw that the half pipe sucked.

"Yo man, what's the problem?" it looked too cramped for what I had in mind. "I don't know man, try it out. I think it's a waist of time to be honest, with all the trees, and it's starting to rain a little."

It was true; I looked up and saw a big dark storm cloud making its way over our little island. Ignoring the rain I picked up my skateboard and tried out the half pipe. It was uneven and not sturdy, and from the looks of the wood supply, there wasn't enough to fix it. "All right, well bail on that project. Instead," I said putting my hand to my chin as if I was thinking, "use the wood to build a little roof for the storm." Glomp beamed proudly at his new challenge. "I can do more than that." He smiled.

"Well then get to work man!"

Leaving Glomp to his wood and termites I looked around for Camden, I just wanted to check if she was all right. I probably shouldn't have carried her onto the island with us but, I thought she wouldn't appreciate it if I left her on the boat and she woke up to find that she was alone and surrounded by water. She might have had a seizure or a heart attack, or what ever phobia people have in there phobia moment.

"Have any of you seen Cam?" I asked a few of the guys who were hanging around the fire pit when I couldn't find her in the spot I last saw her. "No, but I did see her head in that direction," Rakeyohn said pointing to a little path, but who ever listened to Yohn anyway? Why was he even here?

Following yohns tip, I told every one I was going to take a dump and for no cameras to follow or I would throw there very expensive cameras in the river, I headed down the little path to see if I could find Camden. That would suck if I caught her in the middle of going to the bathroom but it's been like 10 minutes since she apparently disappeared, that's long enough so I think I'm in the clear.

I continued to walk the path until I saw a breach in the brush up ahead (a clearing btw) I stopped cold at what I was caught looking at. It was Camden, and she was crying by the looks of it, but that's not the only reason I stopped cold; it might have something to do with her being what I would call "_naked_" by my standards.

She was sitting on an edge, her head in her hands, and the sun shining down on her—I could see her sun-soaking clothes laid over a bush next to her. I had never seen her like this. _Bare, _vulnerable, are a couple words I would use to describe the way she looked. And she **always** puts on a brave face for everything, so seeing her like this was a little unnerving. Something told me I should go and confront her but… Maybe she wouldn't see me if I slowly walked away. I decided to go down that road and took a step back the way I came, but suddenly a branch snapped under my foot and she whipped her head around.

_How Cliché. _


	3. Lier

There was a loud snap; it came from some where behind me. I whipped my head around in fear one of the camera crew had followed me, "hello?" I asked the forest, but there was no answer. Unsatisfied, I decided I might as well get dressed.

_On the other hand_

I noticed Cam stood up suddenly, she walked over to the bush, and I looked away quickly. As much as I wouldn't have wanted to see her, I actually really didn't want to see. She was my friend after all. How would that look if I peeped on her while she changed? Not good let me tell you.

Turning my head slightly I took a quick glance to see if she was done, she was putting her jacket on, I thought that was good enough. I—quietly as possible—I took a few steps back only to retake those steps in an obvious manner. So it sounded like I was just now walking in the woods. When Camden heard the footsteps she whirled around to find me stepping threw the brush. "Bam, Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack. I thought you were a bear or something." She laughed, but something was different about her voice, _is she sick? Or sad? _I thought walking up to her. "Camden, are you all right? I mean you practically ran off right after I left you," I told her sitting on the floor motioning for her to sit down next to me. She looked at my seat offer and looked as if she might reject it before—with a big sigh—she slumped down next to me. "So, talk to me?" I said putting my arm around her as if to say '_I mean business, now tell me what's wrong!!_' type of gesture. She didn't answer me, only looked away down at the river. "Is it money? Cuz moneys no obstacle for me, I could help you out."

He has got to be kidding me; money? Really? Do I look like a broke chick? It wasn't the money, it wasn't the river—for the moment—it was him. "Why are you here?" I asked him keeping my gaze on the river, which made me feel a little nauseous—but that just could have been because of Bam. "What do you mean why am I here?" Bam asked taking his arm from off me, I could tell he was looking at me, but I didn't want to look back. "I am here to check on you," he said flatly. _Why?!_ I hissed in my head, but I wasn't going to ask him that. "Oh," I said instead, "well thanks, but there's no need—I'm fine." I think I might have come across to defensive because when I looked at Bam he did NOT look convinced what so ever. "Cam, you are not fine. Why did you come out here in the first place?" he asked. I laughed slightly, he gave me a look, "I came out here to dry my clothes that you so wonderfully poured water on, and I swear if I get a cold your dead." I said standing up holding out a hand. He took the hand and I helped him up.

I walked with Camden back to base camp, I knew she was lying, something was wrong and she won't tell me what it is. God, girls are so confusing.

Once we got back to the camp I saw there was a miniature like room hovering over a few chairs. I realized then that it was starting to rain. "****, its raining." I muttered sitting on top of Chris—who was sitting in a lawn chair—because there where no other chairs. "You don't mind if you share your chair with me do you?" I asked Chris even though I was already sitting on him. "Do I have a choice?" he asked laughing. I thought for a moment, "No, not really." He smiled and put his arms around my waist. "All righty then,"

Bam was looking at us from across the fire pit.

_What is he thinking? _


	4. I Love Who!

It was late, I had to pee, and not to mention it was dark. I was lying in a lawn chair Rabb had kindly given to me—he was currently leaning against a table next to bam and Chris who where chatting about the show, they where having trouble coming up with a name for this episode. Sitting up and stretching, the quiet chatter ceased for a moment before starting up again once I walked into the woods.

I was only gone for about 5 minuets.

When I got back, the conversation between the 3 boys was over, everyone was asleep and Raab was asleep in my chair. Swearing under my breath I knew from past experiences that there was nothing I could do to get Raab out of—which was now _his_—the chair. Sighing in major defeat I looked around the small circle of guys and found my only option to be the ground, because there was no way I was trusting any of these guys if I slept in there lap; there was no telling what they might do to me. But my down fall is bugs. And that was the only thing I was worried about. I slumped to the ground next to Dunn's feet and proceeded to pull off my hoodie when I heard someone mutter something from across the fire pit. Looking threw the head hole I saw bam was watching me in amusement. His face lit up by the dyeing flames of the fire. I could feel my cheeks light up; I pulled off the rest of my jacket in an attempt to cool them down—no luck.

"Are you still awake?" I asked folding my _CKY_ hoodie into a ball to use as a pillow, "yeah, I was waiting to see if you where going to come back." I tried to hide a smile. "Just making sure I didn't run away?" I asked sarcastically. He laughed and replied a sarcastic, '_of course.' _I threw the makeshift pillow onto the ground and laid my head down on it. "You're not seriously going to sleep on the ground, are you?" bam asked threw the fire. I shrugged my shoulders and replied with a yawn, "What choice do I have?" I could here Bam shift uncomfortable in his chair. "Well, you could come sleep over here with me," he muttered quietly. "Now why would I do that?" I asked with an air of wonderment masked by sarcasticness. "_Because_," he said in about the same tone, "if you don't you'll get eaten by spiders." I scoffed and turned around so I wasn't facing him, "right," I muttered. A few seconds later I sat up and repeatedly hit my hand until I was sure whatever had crawled across it was dead or gone. "So you're _not_ bothered by the bugs?" bam laughed. I looked over at him threw the now smoldering embers. "So where does that offer stand now?" I smiled weakly.

This wasn't so bad, well no—that's a lie—it's pretty bad, but when your sitting on your best friends lap with your head nestled into the croon of his neck and he smells faintly of dead roses, outdoor fire smoke, and freshly cut wood you cant help but love the position your in, especially when his arms are wrapped tightly around you. I slept soundly that night with out even once thinking about bugs or the woods we were currently being surrounded by.

As great as I fell asleep I woke up even better, at first I thought I was having one of those crazy dreams I always had when I woke up to Bam's voice only to wake up and find that I was alone in my run-down apartment. I woke up to bam quietly calling my name but to my surprise I also woke up to the one and only Bam Margera. "What," I muttered, pulling the warm solid mass I was wrapped around closer. I heard a chuckle, "it time to get up dumb ass," he muttered stroking my hair. "What no blow horn? No buckets full of water this time?" I whispered in his ear. I heard him chuckle again. "Not this time, plus you're lying on top of me so... That's a little problematic."

I felt my cheeks grow hot again as I pulled away from him in realization. From what it looked like it was early morning, suddenly I sneezed violently, and not to mention it was cold. Standing up It took me a moment to regain my balance before I trudge into the woods to do some business.

_That was so wrong_…. I thought watching Camden walk away. It was so wrong because I enjoyed waking up to see Camden was asleep in my arms. Was I aloud to think that? I mean… she's my best friend. Well anyway I didn't have time to worry about that. I had to think up someway to get back at April and I had to do a start for the show. Standing up I walked over to the camera crew man Mtv sent to follow me and my crew and kicked him awake.

~an hour later~

I was sitting in one of the many—now empty—lawn chairs watching Glomb shrink into the distance. I felt very sick, it's true I was starting to feel rather ill, but I didn't mean that kind of sick. I couldn't stop thinking about Bam. Every since yesterday and last night… "Cam?" someone called, it was Dunn, "you okay?" he asked sitting next to me. "You look a little pail" I sneezed. "Um I'm fine…" he laughed in my face, "yeah, right. How long have I known you?" he asked—I counted in my head and on my fingers finally giving up, "a long time?" I muttered shifting uncomfortably in my seat.

"Exactly, now what's bothering you? Is it the water still?" I shook my head no. "Then what? Come on cam, tell me; or ill never let you hear the end of it… and ill tell bam something's wrong." Almost before he finished his sentence I bellowed out. "I think I love Bam!"

_WHAT?!?!?!_


End file.
